I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER IN NORWAY ... or so
Unspectacular that's how it started. Did it? We arrived in Mandal and had a bier, no wrong, 5 bier, 1 for Shakar, 2 for Dirk and me and some Pizza too. After that we were bankrupt - almost. God, what did Norway did to you that you put the bier prices up so much? Bad people they must be, the Norwegians, having so hard punishment in live. Anyhow, next thing was checking in to the country, especially Shakar. Customs pier was closed and Police station was totally unprepared for our request for passport check but they manage somehow ... like really somehow. Deep buried in some locker there was an old dusty stamp that they used on Shakars passport. Then it was time for going out, what is almost impossible in Mandal. But we found a Karaoke bar and I was exited presenting Shakar, my friend, next cool dog R&B music super star. He wanted to sing "Hello" from Lionel Richie but Karaoke guy didn't had Richie, the fucker, just ABBA and "at the midnight hour you go ..." singer, Idol Billy if I remember correctly. We ended up inviting the whole Karaoke bar to Summerwind. That was good thing to do because in Inverses we made a big mistake. Instead of buying beer guys wanted to save money and bought cans of Scottish "beer-imitate" which was cheap and is usually used to keep Highland clan members drunk so they don't eat each other and it helps also to daze Highland cows. Anyhow, this stuff we bought on Dirk's request and as we figured out in Mandal it was loved by the Norwegians - they loved it so much that many Norwegian man started to unpack there testicles and showed it out to the world and especially to impress there female. As I was not drinking from this firewater but smuggled good Whiskey into my tummy I was also tempted to show off ... but no, we live by the prime directive, the most prominent guiding principle of the United Federation of Planets. The Prime Directive dictates that there can be no interference with the internal affairs of other civilizations and it has special implications for civilizations still at a "pre-warp" stage of development which Mandal clearly was. Also Shakra was really annoid cause showing dig was not the British polite way and a gentleman he was, my Shakar, future R&B starr to and fro. But also Norwegian girls totally missed to show there goodies and Sahkar and me prefer quit pro quo.
Useless to say that this strange bier from Scotland followed me the whole way to Helsinki course nobody liked to drink it. At the end of the season I had to remove the last rusty cans and rust stains in my bilge and I want to use this moment to thank you one more time Dirk and Shakar for trashing Summerwind.
Back to Mandal, there are Lot's of things to learn from Norwegians next to being drunk for good, just one example. The best day in the year, the longest day and with most of sunshine, also known as Midsummer they call Saint Hans. And right they are, aren't they? The nicest day should be called "Hans day" everywhere.
(Photos from Mandal, Dirk's photo was made 04.00 AM when leaving. Don't get a wrong impression, we liked the small but hostell, friendly and nice town and had a good week)
We left Mandal direction Skagen, what is Denmark. I myself been a bid Danish 1/8 and Dirk has somehow the idea being a bid Danish too. But I don't think so ... The trip itself was disaster. One mega ship after the other and all the time no wind and waves against us. Useless to say the "check weather report thing", I'm was not that stupid, west wind was predicted, east wind it was. When arriving in Skagen Marina we heard already the music from all the bars surrounding the inner harbour but there was not one single space. I went ashore and ask a Swedish boat if they can move a little and then there was so tiny space that I never thought we can go in. On the other hand I didn't wanted to give up, all eyes are on us I thought. Later I figured nobody gave a flying shit about us but I can't deny having being proud on mooring the boat with almost no space on bow and stern. Next day I invited Dirk for sea foot, very disappointing dinner. Food was excellent but 2 girls thought we were gay and Dirk didn't know how to eat any of the sea food and was subsequent pissed almost the whole dinner.
When ready for leaving Skagen a Norwegian skipper moored his new Bavaria alongside Summerwind. I mean, we, with lines in our hands to leave and Bavaria went along scratching Summerind badly and breaking our flagpole. When I told the guys "Hey, what are you doing, we want to leave" an over aged cow, female I guessed, had the courtesy to say: You can't go now, go tomorrow". I'm not exactly good in this kind of conversations and the Bavaria went to a different place. Later I heard that the very same skipper also ruptured his new main sail on his first trip with the new boat what calmed me down a little, might not have been his best day neather. I also found peace in the knowledge that the skipper has to live his live with the cow which turned out to be his wife while I was free and could run for cover if needed. I couldn't help but wonder though, Norway, bier prices, cow, broken main on first day of new boat ... what a live. But I didn't react fast enough, for a second there a win-win was possible, I could have given the skipper all that Scottish beer - Summerwind would have been trash free and he would have found some peace and maby showing his testicles (Ouch, what a thought). But the second went, and so maby out in the universe of the Internet there is an Norwegian web page from a skipper telling the story about the choleric skipper of a catamaran rejecting an exhausted crew shelter after an exhausting trip over the Skagerak. Fair enough.
